One year ago I wrote my very first blog post. After pressing the publish button I covered my eyes with my hands, as I always do in similar situations, as if to shield my eyes from some horrible consequence. How did I dare make public something I had written? Why did I think my silly thoughts were worth sharing with the world? I might never had pressed that button had I known that people would actually read my blog. At the time I was blissfully ignorant about WordPress, and thought that there was no way anybody would find my blog unless I advertised it. Which I was obviously not going to do. Little did I know that people could find my blog posts in their readers, and the first likes, comments and follows baffled me. And terrified me. Suddenly my little experiment was getting out of hand. People were actually reading what I wrote. Admittedly, not many people, but for someone who had never shown her writing to anyone (except my sister) these strangers felt like a crowd.
But I enjoyed writing on my blog. Even if pressing publish was pure agony every time. It felt nice to be writing again, and for the first few months I wrote much more than the one post a week that I had promised. I never expected to have the inspiration and courage to write so much and it made me incredibly happy. Then Loki came along, and after that my blogging frequency never quite recovered. Being a dog-owner takes up its own share of time. Recently I have also become a landlady and within the first month the extractor hood in my old apartment stopped working and there was a leak down into the apartment of the downstairs neighbours. When am I supposed to sit down to blog?
Well, hopefully once I have settled into the new place and the various disasters in the old apartment have been taken care of I will be able to make some more time for my blog again. But I doubt I will return to the pre-puppy numbers, since my sitting down at the desk is invariable accompanied by a ball pushed into my lap. I have the feeling a certain canine member of the family has some jealousy issues with regard to my laptop.
Another reason I will not promise to write as often on my blog as I did one year ago, is that I am planning to work on my novel(s). And, although it makes me sad, it means I cannot devote as much time to the blog as I would want. The blog easily becomes an excuse for me to avoid working on the scary project of writing hundreds of pages of fiction worth publishing. And while I love my blog, I will never feel satisfied until I have fulfilled the dream I have had for as long as I remember: to write a novel.